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Fun Quotes

Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.

Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute.

Don't know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they'll show up quickly.

I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.' That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, 'Your password is incorrect.'

When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31.

 My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead.

 Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow.

In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry!

 Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.

Fun Quotes

You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.

Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can't live without each other.